Scanner Reports 11-19-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Every Holiday Season things are weird for me so I’m going to keep it simple. I have a hot plate and a pan, I’m going to get stuffing, cranberry sauce, yams, green beans, and sandwich meat. I’ll be ok with that. It’s all that filler stuff that fills you up anyway. I was coming back from Rite Aide earlier and saw someone standing out with a 30% off sign that PetCo. is closing. I’ll miss all my friends at PetCo, but if Sprouts moves in I’ll be a customer, they have cooked chickens everyday in their DELI! I’ll be buying a lot of those chickens, a lot better than eating those $5 pizzas every day.

I’m hopefully getting better, after my last fall I was getting really scared there for a bit, all the pain. It’s really hard to remember that I cannot walk normal like I was younger because some days are better than others, some days everything feels OK then suddenly your foot drops or you step funny and twist your knee then down you go…NOT FUN! My mom thinks I subconsciously do it on purpose, like I’m doing it for attention. Subconsciously or maybe UNsubsciously if that were true I think I would UNsubsciously move home and stick her ass in a nursing home then drink all her Vodka. No I know what I’m doing, I’m not totally off my rocker. Once when I was a kid my Mom asked me if I heard voices and I says “Yea sure, don’t you? I see people too, like those little green men on the front lawn.” 2 Days later I was in a Head Shrinkers office You just can’t joke with some people. That was before Military school because that was the place the Head Shrinker determined I should go. Moms going to Military school she just don’t know it yet. I’m just kidding. I don’t fall down for attention if I did it would be a totally fake fall and would not hurt that much, it hurts like HELL after I fall down. I don’t like the Doctor, I don’t like ER, I don’t like the pretty red revolving lights on Emergency responders vehicles and even if I did Station 2 is right across the street I could just get a comfortable chair and sit out front and wait. They will come out of there sooner or later on a call.

So do you have all your Christmas Shoplifting done yet? Man I’m going to be CHEAP this year because I see some things I want and I know no one’s going to get them for me. I saw these retro video games the other day. OHMYDOG! Haven’t played the game in 35 Years but still think about it, Gotta Have It! Gonna get it. Moms going to Military school so I don’t have to get her nothing. I would not send my mom to Military school but it would serve her ass right if I did, she would not be surprised. Anyway we got burglaries, thieves thieving it happens all the time but more so now cause it’s Almost Christmas Time or the Holidays if your prefer…It’s time to really lock up don’t leave your window open with the screen on for air when your at work. LOCK IT UP! Your going to get ripped off. I saw a window open the other day with a screen over it and the latches outside so all someone would have to do is unlatch it pull the screen climb in. There is also a lot of cars getting ripped off lately, more so than usual. I’m just letting you know because I care. That’s my MILPAS UNDERPANTS and everyone is sticking to them. Here are your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Friday:

800 Block of Linden in Carpinteria 20002 Non injury hit and run.
Someone seen at the front door of a home looks like they are holding a gun in the 1200 Block of Del Oro suspect driving a black Suburban all I heard about that.
Possible child abuse investigation 1300 Block of Punta Gorda.
211 Silent alarm no crime 1000 Block of Coast Village Road.
459 Audible no crime burglary alarm in the 400 Block of State street.
Theft of a bicycle investigation 1300 Block of State street.
911 Hang Up in the 200 Block of East Victoria if you accidentally call 911 then hang up they are going to show up anyway just to make sure you are ok Because they care.
20002 Mesa Cafe Grey Sedan.
The Dressing Room Peeper was seen in the act followed, reported, and caught Pretty sure he won’t be doing that anymore for a while.
Aggressive Panhandler transient scum WMA barefoot wearing a MusTURD colored shirt and jeans yelled at a woman who refused to give him money and threw a can at her this guy is not homeless he is a criminal.-
415 “Yeller” 100 Block of West Canon Perdido.
Subject yelling at the downtown Ambassadors 535 State street.
Keep the Peace address in the 600 Block of San Pascual.
Vehicle vs Bicycle Anacapa at Valerio minor injuries.
Hit and Run with a stolen vehicle 3600 Block of Via Semi driver seen running away red Honda CRX he was driving is 10851 stolen. This was in Buellton.
Subject refusing to leave 617 Garden street.
415 Landlord Tenant 1000 Block of East Mason.
Possible employee at Zodo’s HBD and driving soon. I never drank much at work a case or two at most.
Keep the Peace some more same address in the 600 Block of San Pascual.
Vehicle accident on Jameson Lane in Montecito
415 Subject yelling 500 Block of State Street

Scanner Reports, Saturday:

At 3am a Toyota Rav 4 ran into a vehicle and a pole at 192 and Foothill. I saw that on the CHP website at 6am so posted it I did not hear it.
Med call for someone who had his leg ran over by a trailer on FRYday and cannot walk now 3700 Block of Grove Lane.
There was a head reported on the center divider early in the Morning just South of Arrellaga,…. “Your not suppose to smoke that shit and drive ok?”
10851 White Sion I probably spelled it wrong but I would not steal one either 300 Block of Lloyd Ave. I watched a guy steal an AMC Pacer once and I laughed at him.
Black Honda no license plates blocking the alley way in the 1200 Block of Mercedes Lane.
Suspicious circumstances sign in a 2nd story apartment building says “Help Me” not sure what happened but I don’t think they needed help 500 Block of East DLG.
Premises check Washington School 200 Block of Lighthouse.
Fall victim down the escalator at the Chumash Casino.
Unknown if injury accident in the parking lot of Wells Fargo 101 North Milpas street.
Grey Street Bike stolen from 3890 La Cumbre Place at the Habit.-
Engines 4, 5, 6 at the Fire Tower SB City Fire Training Live Fire Training.
Code 2 Med Call for the pick up of a 5150 Emotionally unstable person DLG at Quarantina.
Code 60 vehicle blocking driveway resident needs to leave 1200 Block of Gillespie.
10-15 Drinkers, Drinking at Plaza Del Mar First Block of Castillo.
Someone called in and reported that the Number 11 Bus tried to run him over in front of VeloPro in Goleta.
Fall Victim med call Starbucks 1235 State street.
Overdose on Bi-Polar medication at the City Police Station 215 East Figourea I did not write down the address till just now.
100 Block of West Sola med call fall victim.
Possible Illegal Burn at San Marcos High School 4750 Hollister a woman called in and reported a large fire burning on the property with 5 Black Male Juveniles in the area. I wonder about calls like that now?
415 Music 6500 Block of Sueno, loud music.
242 Punch in the Face JJ’s Liquor in the 300 Block of Castillo.
Report that someone was laying 2 feet from the rail road tracks just North of Santa Barbara all trains proceeded with caution until the subject came to and left the location.
3 Males yelling at 7-11 331 West Montecito street I wonder why they were yelling at the store? There are some weird people in Santa Barbara.

Scanner Reports, Sunday:

Harbor Patrol was trying to catch up on a suspected DUI Driver that ran from them requested help from PD…PD requested the CHP so they must have pulled him over on the freeway.
Early in the morning CHP was involved in a pursuit near Santa Maria Way suspects ditched a vehicle they was driving and the search was on for 2 HMJ’s I don’t know if they were ever captured.
Suspicious male or female reporting party could not tell trying car doors in the 1000 Block of CVR.
There was a white Trailblazer parked in the red at Salinas Place and Santa Ynez street I hope the Checker Unit responded code 3 and got that violater.
Report of a male laying in the parking lot of Orcutt Burger covered in Blood. SBSO got there and requested code 2 Medics that did not sound to serious.
415 Domestic 600 Block of East Anapamu.
Burglary at Beach City to an apartment 807 Cliff Drive.
Stolen Bicycle from 335 South Milpas found with the rider still on it I think sounded like the same call Alphonse at Milpas black and red Norco mountain bike
Someone found their stolen bicycle for sale on Craiglist and agreed to meet the seller in the Lemon Tree Parking lot police were there too not sure what happened. It’s not always the right bike Belinda bought a bike from a shop once some girl chased her all over swore up and down it was her bike Belinda had to call the Fuzz to protect her from this woman.
First West Carrillo 242 Assault.
Check the Welfare of a dog in a silver Dodge 100 Block of West Victoria.
20002 Non injury hit and run Hollister at Kennman no description of suspect vehicle.
Fall victim Heritage court head injury Samarkland.
2 Units on a pedestrian in front of the police station.
Transient criminal punching mailboxes 25 West Guiterrez.
Check behind a property in the 1400 Block of State street for 10-15 skaters.
Suspicious subject in the parking lot of Bank of America on a bicycle riding around the ATM Machines.
Employee of a store in the 1800 Block of Cliff drive threatened to blow up a customers truck Man that is SNOT very nice I would not shop there anymore.

Will that is all outta me for now Have a great MONday-MONday…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tiger, Thomicina, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Shadow, FREDDIE! Fish Head One, and Two, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John,, Eddie, Bambi, Bengie, Ricky, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Pat, Mavis, Lafayette, Ted, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, Debbie, Ken, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will see you on WEDnesday. Later, Roger