Mother’s Day Contest Winner Announced!

Wow, we asked and all of you answered! Thank you to everyone who submitted such amazing and hilarious stories about your mother for our Mother’s Day Story Contest. 

We had a very difficult time picking a winner and narrowed all of the stories down to our top 9, which are all provided below. Each one of these stories made us laugh and feel the motherly love. 

However, there can only be one winner. This story was simple yet hilarious and made Ed and each staffer laugh out loud. Congratulations to TomKatd for sharing about your mother Hilde and her hilarious ways (read the story below). You’ve just won 2 tickets to Downtown Santa Barbara’s LIVE Art & Wine Walk.  

Don’t worry! There are still tickets available for this popular event, but be sure to act fast as tickets are expected to sell out! Click here to purchase tickets.

Check out the winning story and our fantastic honorable mentions below. Happy Mother’s Day to all.

Winning Story!

By TomKatd

My mother, Hilde Marshall, who arrived from Germany in 1939, never quite mastered the English language. Once, for example, the police pulled her over for speeding. “Ma’am, you were doing 65 mph in a 25 mph zone.” “Bah, impossible,” she retorted. “I’ve only been driving for ten minutes!” 
Another time we went to the drugstore, and I told her I needed some deodorant. The druggist asked if she wanted the spray or ball type. “No, the type for under the arms,” she explained. I was fourteen…and mortified.

Honorable Mentions

By Humongous

Growing up in Pittsburgh, my sister and I loved going to the zoo where, back then, you could feed sliced carrots and celery to the hooved animals beneath us behind a thick wall.  While  reaching over the wall to feed a small llama, Mom had her breast suddenly bitten hard by the little animal.  This story has been passed on in our family get togethers such that I remember the story more than the actual event!  I love you Mom!

By brd2trs

A story my mom loves to tell again and again  and again… even at my wedding.  I can’t believe I’m about to share this…

My mom took my best friend and I out for a formal dinner at The Red Onion in Torrance back in the 70s.  We were eight years old at the time.

After being seated and ordering a Roy Roger and Shirley Temple we were excused from the table to use the restroom.  The restroom was up a grandeous flight of curved stairs.

Mom was wondering why we were taking so long.  She was became even more concerned after seeing us descend the stairs.  We were walking, swinging our hips like mature ladies do, yet our legs were tucked like mermaid tails and we looked bowlegged at the same time.  Once we sat down we were wiggling in the booth. 

I’m told our faces were as red as the tablecloths while she requested a private conversation with us trying to figure out what was going on.

We admitted we found the feminine hygiene cabinet open in the bathroom.  Not knowing what tampons were for we had stuffed seven or eight each flat in our underwear!

All Mom could do was laugh hysterically.  Really, what else could a mom do?!?

By CherBear

My mother was quite inventive when it came to punishment for bad behavior. I remember when my mother caught my older brother smoking. Now, mind you, this was in the 60’s when everyone smoked, except my parents because it was cool and hip. Well, my parents didn’t want any of their 5 children to be hip OR cool. So she had my oldest brother go to the corner liquor store and buy 5 of the biggest cigars he could find. He brought them home and handed them to Mom. She was not one of those Moms that said, “wait till your father gets home.” She was a ranch girl from the midwest that went through the depression and WWII, so she would administer punishment. She got my brother, sat him down at the kitchen table and said, “so I understand you like to smoke.” He said, “yeah it’s cool.” She replied, “oh well if you like to smoke and want to be cool, smoke these now in front of me so I can see how cool you look,” and she placed the 5 cigars in front of him with a lighter. He cautiously smiled and went at it. All of us kids were looking on. He took a puff and blew it out like a movie star would have done. Mom said, “oh no mister you inhale.” Needless to say, he was green before the first cigar was finished and made several trips to the bathroom to throw up. He didn’t finish the 5 cigars, Mom’s point was made to all of us. Well, that brother of mine did go back to smoking much later but gave it up just before he had his own children. Mom was a pistol and I miss her every day. She would have been 100 years old this October.

By JCBC

When I was in high school my older college-aged sister had left my friend and I a bottle of champagne for New Year’s Eve. She was on her way to a party and didn’t want to get caught bringing it in the house for us so she left it outside in a planter box. My friend and I were in my bedroom trying to figure out how to walk through the family room where my mom was, go outside, and smuggle in a champagne bottle undetected and without suspicion. We schemed ways to get it inside while constantly going back and forth from my room to the front door and outside checking on the bottle to make sure it was still there. During one of our checks the bottle disappeared and we couldn’t believe it and had no explanation. Years later I learned my mother became suspicious of us going back and forth so much that she snuck out there herself, found the bottle, and hid it from us without saying a word. Then she watched us freak out trying to find it.

By VHerald

When I was in jr. high and LBJ died we staged a walk out of classes for the afternoon. Being a cheerleader and supposedly a good role model several of us were suspended from cheering at basketball games. Our parents had to come in to hear the principal hand down our punishment to which my mom replies “can’t they just come in and clean the office?” Gee thanks mom!!!

By Tortuga805

My mom passed when I was 8 years old, however I do remember she had a sense of humor.  I remember one time I came home from school crying and upset because I had been teased at school for being chubby.   I was adamant that from that day forward, I needed to be on a strict diet.  Well that evening my Father, and brothers were served a huge steak dinner, baked potato and all, while I was served a plate of celery and carrot sticks with a small side of cottage cheese.  After I blew a tantrum as to why I couldn’t have steak and potatoes like the rest, my mom just laughed and brought out my plate she had waiting for me.  We all had a good laugh about my short lived diet.  Flash forward several years later, I was shopping with my 80 something year old grandmother.  She liked to shop at the Thrift shops.  So we walked around and after selecting what she wanted to buy, proceeded to the cashier to pay for her items.  When we walked out and already nearing the car, this little old toothless lady started laughing hysterically because she realized that she had walked out of the store with this little black purse hanging on her arm that she forgot to pay!  On that same shopping outing she had helped me pick out a girdle at Sears.  Neither of us realized that we had not checked the size correctly and I ended up bring home a XXXL, I was a L at that time.  So once again, this little old toothless lady had another good laugh, this time at my expense.  Both my mom and grandmother are gone now, but I will always cherish their sense of humor and joy they brought to my life.   Today I have my own adult daughter and we too have had our share of laughs.  It is important to keep a good sense of humor in life.  Happy Mothers day to all.

By Fitz

Growing up, I was so embarrassed when my mother would sing. She actually had a beautiful soprano voice and she often would solo an “Ave Maria” at church or belt out some Irish song at parties.  When she would be asked to do her ‘party piece’, I would run away or sit there and cover my ears, mortified.   Yes, I was a brat.  Flash forward to her 100th birthday party.  We hired an Irish band.   By this time in her life, my mother wasn’t doing much singing, or talking for that matter.  However, as the band started up their version of “Danny Boy”, all of a sudden she starts singing in a very low voice.  Everyone quieted down and her voice got stronger. She remembered every word and sang in key through the whole song.   There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.  I certainly didn’t try to block out her voice that time nor was I embarrassed.   She died  six weeks later. I am so glad she got her last big solo in front of children, and grandchildren, nephews and nieces, relatives from Ireland,  and local friends, the very appreciative audience which she had always deserved.

By Bee3029

When I was in the third grade, I forgot my instrument at home.  I called my mom who promised to bring it to me.  I was standing in line in the cafeteria ready to pick up my lunch. The entire 3rd and 4th grade classes was either in line with me or already seated at the lunch tables when my mom walked in carrying my instrument.  She was in shorts and was wearing a shower cap covered from head to toe in paint splatters.  You see, she was in the middle of painting our house when she decided to take a break and deliver the instrument.  She walked out in front of everyone to hand me my instrument.  I died of embarrassment.  However, I now look back on it and am amazed at what a hard working mom I had.

Original Contest Form

Mother’s Day is right around the corner, and what better way to honor mom than sharing a funny story with the entire edhat community?

We’re launching our first ever Mother’s Day Story Contest! Send us your best funny or embarrassing story involving your mom, grandmother, mom-figure, or yourself (if you happen to be a mom). Send in the story your family constantly re-tells during the holidays while laughing hysterically. You know the ones. The funny and quirky things that make your mom lovable.

Ed and the dedicated staff of edhat.com will read through the entries and the story that makes them laugh the most will win. We might attribute bonus points if you send us an embarrassing mom photo to go with it, think 1990’s Sears glamour shots or funky 70’s outfits. The winner will receive 2 tickets to the coveted Downtown Santa Barbara LIVE Art & Wine Walk held on May 23. Sample wine, food, and watch live art demonstrations while strolling on State Street and end the evening dancing at the Arlington Theatre!

Send your story in the form below by Monday, May 13 at 5:00 p.m. Photos may be emailed to ed@edhat.com. 

Contest form has expired

Rules

• One entry per person
• All entries must have an edhat account [It’s free create one here!]
• All entries must give edhat permission to publicly post their story.
• Entries must be received by Monday, May 13th at 5:00 p.m.
• One winner will be announced on Tuesday, May 14th.
• Photos are not required but may increase your odds of winning

Prize

The winning contestant will receive 2 tickets to Downtown Santa Barbara’s LIVE Art & Wine Tour on Thursday, May 23.

When it comes to intriguing live art, fabulous wine and great food all in one evening, no one does it better than Downtown Santa Barbara (DSB). Bring your appetite for all three to the Downtown LIVE Art & Wine Tour Presented by The Towbes Group, returning on Thursday, May 23rd. Wear your comfy strolling shoes to visit select galleries and venues on State Street (and side streets) above Carrillo. An added benefit to your enjoyable evening with fellow art lovers is the knowledge that you’re assisting another great downtown tradition – all proceeds will benefit the Downtown Public Art Fund, supporting the State of the Art Gallery, Pianos on State, and exciting new projects.

Tickets are $65 for the tour and Final Party. Tickets are on sale HERE. Tickets are limited, advance purchase is a must. For more information, call (805) 962-2098 or visit www.DowntownSB.org or our Facebook page: Downtown Santa Barbara.